I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
