She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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