do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
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