Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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