Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
