idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
