did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Randomize
