How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
