I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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