it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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