Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Randomize
