Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
