Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
