are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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