When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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