I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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