We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
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