Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Randomize
