Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Randomize