I'm drive I can fine osifer
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
When are your genitals available?
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
