I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I just threw up on my dentist
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
