i wish semen tasted like chocolate
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize