if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
handjob tips. give me some.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
