The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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