I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
