I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
