This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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