Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
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