Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize