You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
