You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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