Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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