May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
he quoted the bible to break up with me
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
