So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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