I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
