just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
In other news, I just burned my penis
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
