He asked to "fluff my boner.."
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
