She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Randomize