So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
