I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
