New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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