I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
