i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize