Will you blow on my dice?
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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