OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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