i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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