Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
