How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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