He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
As shirtless as possible
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
