Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
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