just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
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