She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
