Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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