what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Randomize
