You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
