my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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