i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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