dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
