Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I still have a little drunk in my system
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
