filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Rumble strips road head = magical
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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