How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
