Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
she looked like the before picture.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Randomize
