I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
