Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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