he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
