it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
