just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
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