Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
