you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Randomize