forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
