the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Randomize
