guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
