This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
