corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
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