i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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