at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
