Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
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