she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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