He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
