i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
We were destined to go to rehab together
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Randomize
