remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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