there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
